Words hurt: How to deal with negativity.  Unless you have somehow mastered the art of simply not feeling then odds are if you are in an interracial relationship that you’ve been called names or made to feel sad and hurt. We’re only human and most of our communicating is done through talking. It’s only natural to be affected by what other’s say to and about you. However it’s important to remember that their opinion is just that; theirs. We don’t control what other people say or think. We can however control the way we react.

It’s the way we respond and the way we condition ourselves to combat the hate that matters. Black women especially get a lot of slack for dating and marrying out. We’re called everything from a sell out to traitors. Assumptions about our love of self is always assumed . We must hate our selves to marry and date out. Or we have low self esteem or a black man did us dirty…every mean spirited assumption in the book is thrown at us. Never mind that black men consistently date outside at a much higher rate. Yet , somehow they miss much of the insults. To go even further it is usually black men who are the ones degrading and commenting on a black woman who has chosen to date or marry interracially.

We’ve all experienced some form of it. Whether it is while we are out in public , the stares and whispers . Even in restaurants , how many of us have been asked if we are with our significant other while we are standing close to him or maybe even having a conversation with him. In a way we expect it. People stare and they question what they consider not the norm. And that’s fine sometimes it can even be humorous. It’s all in how you look at it. Stares and assumptions are one thing . Insults are something entirely different. The truth is the person(s) doing the insulting are usually the one’s with their own set of issues . They are quick to point out your short comings or lack of pride based solely on whom you choose to be with . Without even knowing you. It’s easy to want to lash out and defend yourself. And sometimes it’s even necessary. More more than not , it won’t make a difference.

The best way to deal with these type of situations is to take them for what they are worth. Someone else’s view from the outside desperately guessing at what you feel in the inside. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your choices. And what other people think of you is not your business. Words can definitely wound or bruise you. And while we can’t always choose the people we come into contact with we can armor ourselves before an attack. Remind yourself that not everyone will accept your choice and really find a way to be OK with it. Strengthen the bond that you share with your significant other. Talk it out with him, the both of you are so much stronger when you present a united front. Because at the end of the day you and he are the only one’s that matter. Swirl on…it only gets better from here.