I have been trying for years to have a real and positive relationship.  You see, I am one of the many women who has everything else going except for the intimate parts of our lives.  The longest relationship I had ever had was with my child’s father and that ended several years ago.

So after many tries, and a lot more failures,I thought I should take a break and to figure out what was it that I was doing wrong. After all, I was the main denominator within this fraction.  I sought help, including therapy, to aid me in resolving issues from my past and accepting challenges in  my present life. I got a lot more than I had bargained for.

After the completion of my therapy sessions, I thought I was ready for the dating scene…

I met him in a garden. He was on duty (police).  He had caught my eyes on my way out, after purchasing ice cream to take home to my family. I walked over to him and said “you’re so hot that you are melting my ice cream”. He looked like a model…

Eventually, we became a couple…

After three years, I got a text message on my phone that stated” I am too busy for a relationship, I do not have any time”.  My response was immediate hurt, but truth be told I was already mourning the loss of the relationship, because I knew it was over long before his text message.  However, I still felt both angry and insulted. I thought I deserved at least a phone call.

So here I was left with a broken heart, I had really loved him a lot  and had invested heavily into the relationship (him). The worst part about the break up was that I had felt like a failure. I was beginning to think that something was truly wrong with me.

From the inception of the  relationship I was the one who was really directing its path. He was there, but was not an active participant. Any activity that took place in the relationship was because of  plans made by myself or his friends.

He told me one day ” I am only happy when I am with my friends”. You would think that I would have left, but that was not to be. I thought I could make him see other wise. He also told me, if he should move, he would live all alone with one plate, fork, pot ,cup and spoon and he will not be living with anyone. I still did not leave the relationship even though it was clear that this man will not love me the way I wanted him to.

You see ladies sometimes we are the ones to be blame specially when we are so determined to make something work. So yes, I got the help I needed but that did not mean that the next relationship will be the “ONE”. What I had to face and accept was that I was still learning and that there is more of me to understand. I am now single and is taking my time, it has been more than a year.

Am I ready for the next relationship? Only time will tell. This has been a learning phase about me. I was so desperate to be in a long term committed relationship that I was willing to sacrifice me.

Ladies, happiness is a must. But in order to get to that you must first learn to love yourself and  to learn about who you truly are.