Meet Captain Nenh and Mrs. Ladi Trenh.  I came by their wedding video uploaded by Ladi’s cousin Miguel Asua of Asua Light LLC.  So, I set out on a search to find this couple.  Miguel was nice enough to put me in touch with this beautiful bride.  I contacted Ladi and she was so pleasant.  Of course she agreed to an interview.  What has to be noted is that Ladi is a natural beauty who wears little to no make up and is comfortable as she is.  Her husband Nenh is obviously very much in love with the beautiful woman Ladi is inside and out.  Ladi demonstrates that we can come as we are and attract, quality, marriage minded men who will love, honor, and protect us as well as provide for our families.  Ladi was so forthcoming in sharing her story and pictures of her beautiful little family.  She leads a simple, yet inspiring life as wife and mother.  Thanks Ladi!

Where were you born?

I was born in Kumba, Cameroon. The English-speaking part of Cameroon.

What is your husband’s ethnicity?

Nenh is Vietnamese Chinese. He was born in Vietnam but His parents migrated from Taiwan.

How did you meet?

We met in high school. I was in the 11th grade and he was in 12th. He was working in the counselor’s office when my counselor suggested he help me with my college applications.

And how long had you known Nenh by the time you got married?

We’d known each other for 4 years before we got married on July 27 2005.

Ladi 1

 

 

 

 

 

 

Was this your first interracial relationship?

No, I had a Chinese boyfriend before him but you know high school, (chuckles) so I don’t think that was a real relationship (more like puppy love).

How did you feel about interracial marriage and relationships before you were in one?

I had no feeling about it. I never sat and thought about my relationships in a racial way, they were just relationships.

Do you feel any different about interracial marriage and relationships now?

No, I think marriage is {color}blind. It should be looked at on mutual relationship basis and not in a racial sense…like two humans fell in love and got married — not a white guy and a black girl fell in love and got married. I think sometimes people in the US focus too much on race and color.

Ladi 1 Marriage Retreat 2008

Did you face skeptics and criticism from friends and/or family about your interracial marriage?

No.

What about your husband’s family, did you or he face any criticism from them?

None whatsoever.  I noticed strangers where more critical of our relationship than our families. Both of our families were very happy for us and very accepting.  Now some of Nenh’s parents’ friends were not so accepting. But once they got to know me — not as a black person but just as a person, they were more accepting of our relationship. I did not take it personally because these people were very old in their way of thinking.  Basically they were not open-minded and had horrible, stereotypical images of black people in their thoughts.  There were also aunts and uncles and those who weren’t really related or just random people on the streets who obviously did not approve.

How did you handle his parents’ friends and acquaintances?

I smiled and was very polite. It didn’t really affect me.  I looked at the situation as if they were not used to me.  After our first few contacts they began to see me differently.  They saw me learn about their culture and take part in cultural events, and soon realized I was just Ladi.  I was not just some black girl.  They opened their minds, freed the negative thoughts and in turn became nicer to me. I think sometimes people are intimidated by what they don’t know. Once that intimidation is taken away, they learn to accept each other.

Do you feel that there are societal criticisms and pressures concerning interracial relationships?

I remember when my husband returned from his first overseas deployment and we went to the Atlanta Aquarium.  As we were standing in line, a black man came from nowhere and just started cursing me.  He said: “What the f***** is wrong with you?  You think you better than the rest of us n****s?  They ain’t got black men for you to marry (curses)?  You should stick to your kind (curses)!”  It was horrible.  We were so uncomfortable that we left.

I think people sometimes judge those who are in interracial marriages. I hear it all the time for instance in sports, basketball in particular that many of the players don’t really marry black women. No doubt that this is the indeed sometimes the case.  But sometimes we forget that the people pick to marry for love not for color or race. I think we in society like to be divisive and separate ourselves at times.  I would not worry about what others are doing.  Just concentrate on your life and happiness and leave others to themselves.

Do you attribute or connect it to negative images of blacks from slavery or something else? 

No, I think it’s just plain ignorance. Slavery happened, We cannot deny it but it should not be used as a reason to keep people apart.  Because I have African roots, I can appreciate ancient tribal wisdom.  In the old days, marriages were used as a way to unite two kingdoms, villages, etc. Perhaps people need to re-examine marriage in this manner.  It is a union.

Do you have children?

Yes ,we have two lovely children: Ghamei (Gigi) and Jin.

Ladi 10

 

Does race figure into child rearing for you?

Not really accept to address specific issues.  We will teach them there is the human race and that race has different cultures. I think they will be fine if they are taught to accept their heritage.

 

Ladi 5

 

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Are your families’ different religions?

Yes my family and I are Christians; My husband and his family are Taoist.

If so, was it significant in your relationship?

No not at all

Ladi 4

 

What about politics?  Are you both on the same page politically?

No we are not but it’s ok. Political discussions do not play a big part in our relationship or daily lives.  We focus on other important things.  We just don’t have any problems in that area.

Where do you live?

Atlanta, Georgia

Do you think Atlanta in general is a good place for interracial couples and families?

Yes, I love this city.  It’s very diverse and there are all kinds of ethnic communities here.

Ladi 11Do you work outside the home?

I am a stay at home mom. I have been at home since I became pregnant with our first child.  I feel very lucky and blessed that I am able to stay home. My husband has always told me I don’t have to work, however I do have my B.S. and I am planning on finishing my Masters in the near future.

I just recently stated attending auctions and participating on online garage sales. And my am giving an online business of my own a try.  I set up My Second Chic on Facebook.  It’s a hobby I love turned business.

What do you and Nenh do for fun?

We love trying different international cuisines, we love going to the movies,  we love the outdoors, and we love to go boating. I also love attending auctions with Nenh. We have fun in everything we do together.

 

Do you have any suggestions for black women just entering into or considering an interracial relationship?

Please be open; always be willing to try new things. Don’t judge and don’t make decisions by allowing stereotypes to influence you.

 

Ladi 9

 

Thanks again Ladi for a fantastic interview!

 

Watch Ladi and Nenh’s beautiful wedding video.

 

Nenh and Ladi Trenh Wedding from Miguel Asua on Vimeo.

Videographer: Miguel Asua @ AsuaLightLLC.com